Conflict reveals true feelings

Have you ever had someone misinterpret something you did or said? I am a firm believer that the way people react to you reflects their true feelings toward you.

I am a quiet, calm person who doesn’t like confrontation but will approach any ‘situation’ with reason and good communication. If I ever argue with you, I expect you give me the same calm, respect and understanding I am trying to give to you. If you have ever been in an argument with someone who is supposed to be close to you and instead of them apologising when they are wrong or trying to stop the argument they proceed to nitpick and escalate the situation… I don’t need to use big words to tell you that person doesn’t care much about you. I have been very guilty of that myself. Escalating or continuing an argument to take advantage of how ridiculous an individual is for my own satisfaction (Im not that mean, I wouldn’t escalate a situation to hurt someone but I am still guilty of causing unnecessary arguments as well- to prove a point of course). But that person is always promptly dismissed from my life, which goes back to my point because I did not care for that person and in that situation I realised they were better of not being in my life. No one who cares about you would escalate an argument/conflict knowing it will hurt you.

If that person is constantly misunderstanding you… that person has trust issues, is insecure or is habouring some sort of ill feeling against you. No trait that you want around you. No one who cares about you should be thinking things that you did not mean. How am I going to ask for something I borrowed you and all of a sudden you’re throwing everything I ever gave you at me all because we argued? Me asking for one thing doesn’t mean I’m asking for EVERYTHING! (just an example) Anyone thinking the worse of you will always be defensive and overanalyse everything you do until you mess up. In a situation where someone is refusing to listen to your explanation/side of your story and misunderstanding you, refusing to listen and sticking to a story they’ve heard from some other sources before even asking you for clarification, that person does not really care about you or aren’t the kind of person you need in your life. To solve any conflict you need communication and if you can’t communicate effectively with someone they have no purpose in your life.

If that person can never say sorry, they don’t really care about you (at least enough to put their pride aside). That person is either too selfish, arrogant or too weak to admit when they are wrong. No person who truly cares about you should hurt you and not apologise. Also, no one should be apologising yet not changing their behaviour. Being too good at apologising is just as weak in my opinion. They are simply walking all over you, doing things and believing by simply apologising you will keep forgiving them and believe they are truly sorry. IF YOU’RE TRULY SORRY YOU’LL CHANGE YOUR ACTIONS.

My point is COMMUNICATE. Accept responsibility for your actions and communicate because avoiding conflict is impossible. Conflict of some sort is inevitable. The way you deal with it is what is important. Pay closer attention to the way people interact with you. Do they call to check you’re okay after an argument? Do they block or avoid you? Do they realise they’re wrong and then try to continue like nothing happened or do they apologise? DO THEY REPEAT THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN DESPITE REPEATED CONVERSATIONS, APOLOGIES AND PROMISES? I have noticed some bad traits in my own family. It isn’t just your friends and partners you have to observe. It’s literally everyone, even the strangers on the street.

I was inspired by a video of Madea that I recently saw and looked back at an experience which taught me a most valued lesson. Don’t be afraid to cut out negative people in your life, ‘family’ or not. Don’t hold grudges, just let them go.

When life gives you limes, make limeade.

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