Online deception

In this day and age technology has taken over the world. I am truly grateful for social media as it allows me to connect with my family back home in Grenada and it has given me the opportunity to build relationships with my nieces and nephews who I have never met. It has also allowed me to get in contact with and reconnect with old friends and recently thrown me back into the Grenadian community as a whole.

Social media was very important to me as an 11 year old moving to a new country and not knowing many people. Before I established myself into friendship groups at school I found like minded people to keep me entertained online. But unfortunately the innocence of the internet and social media has disappeared. As a child/teenager using the social media back in the day I was not exposed to the filth and deception that is out there now.

I am not at all against online dating, but as social media is becoming more used and online dating becoming more acceptable you meet a lot of pathetic, desperate and simply deceitful people. (Please not that the majority of people are usually genuine, nice people) When I was dating, what you see is what you got. Quite literally. I try to be myself so much so that I would happily go out on dates without any makeup and dressed comfortably- because that’s who I am. I rarely wear makeup and I hate clothes. I’m so lazy to get dressed sometimes I am quite comfortable going to town without a bra (please bare in mind that I have slightly saggy H cup breasts. Imagine all the bouncing around.)

The problem I have with online dating now is that a huge number of people seem to be trying to give off a false image of themselves. Girls with all the makeup, snapchat filters, angles and spending forever taking and sorting through pictures to pick out the best ones. Guys with their lack of pictures/current pictures, excessive gym selfies, pictures of themselves with cars that they pass in the streets and most annoyingly their false promises of relationships when they’re just trying to hit and run. People so uncomfortable with themselves that they literally steal someone else identity. I mean have you guys not seen Catfish?! One episode alone is enough to put you off online dating forever.

It truly sucks that in todays society everyone is trying to compete with each other online. Who is better looking, has more material objects, has more money, is more successful, has a bigger house, goes on holiday more. Who is happier. All of these insecurities and competition is reflected in a lot of the online dating profiles I have come across. Unless you take the time to get to know the person you are talking to the only thing that is happening is you are building an imaginary friend from the ideas that this person is giving you off themselves online. It’s happened to me. “Oh, they have travelled the world”. No. they went Paris for one day and went to Amsterdam for a weekend once 4 years ago and are constantly posting the same throwback pictures.

Too many times a friend (or myself) have come across a guy online with his gym selfies and thought ‘damn he is fine, athletic, built.’ Only to meet him and find out the pictures are 5 years old. Or although he is in shape he is a lot ‘smaller’ than we thought. I mean it might be our fault for imagining a 6’4′ broad shouldered man but that is the point I am making. There is opportunity for a lot of disappointment and deception if you are being drawn into the perfect persona that is being projected online. I have seen a man in a suit and/ designer clothes and thought ‘successful, good job, well paid’ and met him and really he is still living at home, working in a minimum wage job and unable to pay the little bills he has because he spends all his money on designer clothes. I mean there is nothing wrong with living at home and being paid minimum wage but LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS!

This isn’t just relevant to dating though. Your favourite instagram models, YouTubers, bloggers… you are being shown what they want you to see. I feel like I have even been catfished by naturals online. If you are #teamnatural and have ever seen a great hairstyle online and you’ve thought ‘damn I wish my hair was long/thick enough to achieve that’ and then found out that it was crotchet braid/U-part wig or some sort of extension then you probably feel just as deceived as I do.

My point in this post is be careful online. Don’t rush into anything without actually getting to know the person offline. Don’t just be careful of people’s profiles but also be careful of your imagination and the image/idea you create of the person based on what you see or are told. Don’t be jumping to conclusions!

When life gives you limes, make limeade.

Quick edit. This is an old post from a previous blog which I am transferring to this blog. Editing this I realise that some things stated above would technically count as simply other peoples personalities. Sure, I don’t wear makeup often (but I sure do know how to beat my face) but in 2018 beauty in itself is basically a hobby, a lifestyle. Although I didn’t remove my comments from the post, I think my thoughts are still valid. Too many women are too reluctant to post pictures of themselves on social media/dating websites without makeup and quite frankly, it is just sad. Whether because of insecurity or vanity, society is a bit of a mess but thats another conversation for another day.  #deep


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